Posted by: suzan | April 4, 2013

The Perfect Parent

The Perfect Parent. Is it a myth or an elusive reality? Many have tried to accomplish this title; whether in their own homes or in public. However you want to label it, the perfect parent is really a mindset that is determined by the individual parent and not as a whole. We all in one way or another want someone to call us the perfect mother or perfect father. But perfect to one person’s eye may be different to another. And at the end of the day, before we go to bed, do we stop and look at the whole picture and smile at the fact that only your perfect family should really matter to you?

As a parent, whether first timers or seasonal veterans, we all have a perception of how a parent should be. Whether we see it firsthand from our own parents or we read it in magazines or we glean off information from our friends and families who had children first, we all get a sense of how a parent should look and act. But as a parent myself, I’ve learned that not every mother or father’s best intentions matches our own. Not every parent make the same mistake or triumph although they slide on similar paths. And certainly not all parents have children that are exactly like their friends or relatives’ children.

I’ve learned a lot from my own parents about parenting and I’m still learning from them. Having grown up in a family with four children my parents did their best in raising kids with different personalities and attributes. They’ve made mistakes and yet they also learned from their mistakes and it’s from watching them and also absorbing useful information from them that I’ve learned there is no such thing as a “perfect parent”. Some may come real close to being one, but perfect is in the eye of the beholder, so to speak. And having been a preschool teacher all those years before you would think that I was totally prepared when I had my own child. Well, teaching and taking care of other people’s children is quite different than raising your own for sure!

So I’ve compiled a list of reasons to be more forgiving of yourself if you fall in the Itch-To-Be-A-Perfect-Parent category. No one is perfect and certainly parents should constantly be growing and learning. Now our kids on the other hand, may just be perfect after all.

– Don’t feel too guilty when you give in to your kids demands. As long as you trade something for good behavior, then eventually they’ll understand the concept.

– Be forgiving of yourself and learn from your mistakes.

– Learn from your own children. Each child has their own distinct personality and traits and treat them fairly.

– It’s okay if you mess up once in awhile (or often). Just as long as you truly love your kids then they will forgive you.

– Don’t compare your parenting skills with other parents. Not everyone will have the same concept or idea as you do.

– Don’t let other people or parents judge your parenting skills. They probably make as many or more mistakes as you do.

– Don’t judge other parents’ parenting skills. Just like you wouldn’t want them to judge yours.

– Most importantly, have fun raising your kids. Enjoy them when they’re young because once they’re grown up, you may not have as much room to tell them what to do.

Whoever said that being a parent is a piece of cake really hasn’t tried any of my cakes. But through trials, mistakes, laughter, tears, and all the good with the bad, most likely your own kids will think you’re pretty perfect at the end of the day. And isn’t that what really matters most?

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Responses

  1. I agree. I have never compared my parenting skills to others. Some of us have different parenting challenges than others. I have a child with Epilepsy. How could someone with a perfectly healthy child even begin to compare themselves to me? They don’t know how different my life is from theirs. I have been a mother for 24 years. I decided the day my first child was born that I would take people’s advice with a grain of salt, and make my own decisions on what was best for my kids. Knowing that I was doing what was right for us made me confident that I was being the best mom I could. Which is all that matters, right?


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